THE WEEKEND 2000 STORY

Friday

Late start today. Get up at 10:30am, have breakfast, have final bath and last proper wash until Tuesday. 11:30 Have lunch - omelette sandwich, and then to catch the bus with Rich and Rob.

Into Rotherham, to the Tut'n'Shive for a quick pint. Next stop bank, followed by Tescos for supplies of 1 pack of chewing gum each, some water and a crate of Stella for Rich. Between us for the weekend we have 48 cans of Stella, 1 bottle of whiskey and a bottle of Southern Comfort, 3 boxes of chewing gum (plus my food (pepperami, crisps and cereal bars))

Catch 1:30pm train from Rotherham to Leeds. Drink on Train, Off the train in Leeds and to The Packhorse bar where Rob used to work. Bus to a house in Leeds to meet up with Katy, Danni and Sam who were also camping with us.

4:30pm leave for the festival.

Get there. The strap on Rich's bag snaps due to the weight of Stella cans in his bag. Walk to the campsite that's as far away from anything on Katy's advice. People applauding us with a beer trolley with 3 more crates of Stella on them as they struggle to carry there - Forward planning can't beat it. Pitch the two tents 1/3 of the way up the hill. This proves hard work as the ground is solid and the tent pegs won't go in they just bend and we have nothing to hit them in with. After finding a lump of tarmac, the tents get pitched. Time to start drinking.

Pete and Sarah turn up later on have been walking round for a while not been able to find us even though they had instructions on where we were - apart from "left at Graham Hill" actually meant Left at "Jimmy Hill".

Continue drinking with added Absinth. By about 9:30 Rich is showing the signs of been quite drunk with Rob not far behind - neither able to count 15 cans of Stella. Rob & Rich announce that I have now married Katy due to our common interests in Ooberman and Mark & Lard

11:00pm Rich collapses asleep in the tent. 11:30pm Rob collapses asleep in the tent and everybody else decides they've had enough too so they all disappear into there tents leaving me to sit and watch what's happening around me.

12:30am they sky having clouded over now starts to flash with lightning.

2:00am It now starts raining and there's no room for me in the main bit of the tent as Rich and Rob are sprawled across the tent. I'm left to shelter in the entrance between crates of Stella and my bag - not very comfortable but mostly dry.

2:45am Rob wakes up for just long enough to sit up and vomit just out of the front of the tent. Said he did not want me to move out of his way, but did not recall this latter on.

3:30am Rich wakes up to use the Chemical toilets at the bottom of the field especially as it has now stopped raining

4:30am Rain returns even harder than before so I take the opportunity to move into the main bit of the tent and find somewhere to lie.

Sleep.

Up at 8:00am (apart from Rich who is still comatosed), although its stopped raining, the grass is too wet from the nights rain to sit anywhere. Breakfast of cereal bars and beer. Rich wakes and starts the day as Rob finished the previous one, only this time its continuos. Decides the best way to stop vomiting it to eat a banana. Eats half and then sick again.

10:30am Walk to pre-arena area. Buy cups of tea at �1. Rich lays down still hungover and not able to remember much if anything about last night at all. It starts raining much to the annoyance of Rob & Sarah who have no waterproofs. So they go and buy one at �15.

11:30am Finally get into the arena area and on the way over to the Main Stage to watch My Vitriol notice the Orange stall is giving out free waterproof things to wear so get one of those as well. My Vitriol They make up to us the fact that Eminem was not playing by introducing "Elvis the singing fish" (12:00pm - 12:45pm) then make our way to the Evening Session Tent to catch the end of the Clearlake set (1:10pm) and to watch Linoleum (1:30pm - 14:00pm) and also to try and dry off from the constant rain.

In a bid to stay warm we bought cups of hot chocolate topped with squirty cream and a flake, not bad for �1.50 considering.

The rain stopped so back out we went to the main stage and caught the end of Supersuckers and then A where at the one point the lead singer told the crowd to get moving as he'd seen more movement from Christopher Reeve.

Next came the highlight of the day: Daphne & Celeste with their 3 song set of Ooh Stick You, U.G.L.Y. and Schools Out. As soon as the intro to Oooh Stick You came on, Celeste entered from the right and Daphne from the right and moved to the front of the stage only to be driven back by a barrage of bottles of liquid, eggs, pies and anything else those near the front had. Someone near the front held a banner. On one side was written "Bollocks" and on the other "Daphne I'm pregnant". Quality.

After we decided not to stay and watch Blink 182 but headed back to the Evening Session tent to see Lupine Howl.

Back to the main stage to see Rage Against the Machine. I saw the first two songs before deciding I'd had enough and walking up to the Carling Premier Tent to see the later half of Bowling For Soup's set including the single "Bitch". They were a top band and I must buy their album before I forget It was there I stayed to watch the excellent Angelica and the lovely Lauren Lavern (ex-Kinickie). Another two albums to buy. Whilst I watched these bands all the others stayed and watched the end of RATM and then the comedy freaks that are Slipknot. When asked for a comment on their performance all Rich could manage was "Scary"

With daylight turning to darkness down to the front (well as near to the front as we could get) we went to watch Placebo. When drop, drop, drop - the rain was back. And this time it was a lot heavier than before and accompanied by both thunder and lightning. Back on with all the water proofs, but even with both my waterproofs on I was still getting wet. We decide not move back as the ground would just be too muddy to try and walk any where. Placebo play a good set with a combination of songs of both previous albums and some from the new one. It was one of those performances that would look good sat at home watching it on late night TV with the sound, stage lights mixing in with atmospheric weather.

When Placebo finished we decided we would leave the muddy bit we were at and move back up the hill to watch the Stereophonics where (hopefully) the ground would not be a churned up if still as wet. So we did - well Me, Rich, Rob, Pete & Sarah did, the others having decided it was too wet to stay around. Pete and Sarah soon followed leaving just the three of us to stand getting wet and criticizing the 'phonics for just rolling out the same greatest hits set that they have performed for the past 2 years. It's not that they were bad, just they were nothing special.

It was then that the fun started. The trip back to the tent, we knew it would be muddy. We did not expect the entire way back to look like Scarborough harbour at low tide. First of all we had to negotiate the walk back down the hill to get out of the control gate, then down another hill to join the path back to the field we were camped in. On the way down in the morning there had been a path about 3 meters wide with a fence at one side and a wide grass area on the other. On the way back there was a fence at one side, but no path or grass just a wide path of sticky, slidy mud. Most people were queuing up where the path used to be with a few chancing it on the old grassy bit, and they were making faster progress so be decided to follow them. We followed this path for about 2 minutes before cutting back in on the queue as it was just too difficult to try and walk on. Eventually we made it back to the tent leaving me to wonder how I was going to get my trainers in a dry enough state to wear on Sunday.

My Vitriol 12:00 - 12:45 (m)
Clearlake (last song) 12:45 (e)
Linoleum 13:30 - 14:00 (e)
A 14:45 - 15:30 (m)
Daphne & Celeste 15:45 - 16:00 (m)
Lupine Howl 16:45 - 17:25 (e)
Rage Against the Machine 17:35 - 18:30 (m)
Bowling for Soup 17:30 - 18:00 (c)
Angelica 18:15 - 18:45 (c)
Lauren Lavern 19:00 - 19:40 (c)
Placebo 20:10 - 21:00 (m)
Stereophonics 21:30 - 23:00 (m)

Up at 8:30am The rain held off throughout the night so at least we could sit outside. With the daylight I could now see the true extent of the damage to my trainers. They were still wet inside and they were almost completely covered in still-wet mud stuck on the outside. It was the same with my jeans - mud covered to just below the knee and still wet. With the sun out I placed them on the slightly wet tent to dry, and they did, you could see the steam coming off them. Phoned home for a weather report. Its going to be the best day of the three with it staying dry all day. A view that made sense looking at the sky which had only a few light grey/white clouds.

Today looked like being the best day for bands with the main stage where we were likely to be all day. So it was there we started off. First on was The Delgardos (on my advice). With about eleven of them onstage including a full string section they played to a large number of people to say they were only the second band on (Kent having already played) Strange how a Mercury nomination can boost your appeal. After was Gorky's Zygotic Mynci who again played well but left me slightly disappointed at not playing "The Patio Song"

With the sun still out the beer was flowing back with some ease.

We then made our only trip inside of the day to watch Terris and Dark Star who were not that memorable apart from playing their two "hit" singles, having a lead singer who looked like a cross between Weedy and Darren Huckay and a truly manic drummer.

Back to the main stage in plenty of time to watch the Super Furry Animals. As far as I can remember they were the only band to use the big screens to show parts of there videos as opposed to just the live shots from the cameramen on the stage. They played a very entertaining set - even if you could not understand the English lyrics and not just the Welsh ones. Songs included Ice Hockey Hair, Demons and other singles finishing off with a version of "The Man Don't Give a Fuck" which continued playing after they went off stage. 2 Minutes later, then on to the sage came:

• A bear
• A panda
• A crocodile
• A cyborg man type thing
• And something else

All stood still on stage with just the right arm raised. The song went on and on and on. Then they walked off with us all still singing.

Next what was probably the highlight of the entire weekend. Gomez. From the smiles on their faces they were enjoying playing as much as we were just watching. Gomez like the SFA left the stage but much earlier in the set, on to come back on with a host of inflatables such as balls, globes, guitars and American football helmets that were distributed amongst the crowd. They also managed to segway "Pump up the volume" into the middle of one of the songs. The set included Machismo, 78 Stone Wobble, Get Myself Arrested, Hangover, Bring It On finishing off with Whippin Piccadilly (as recorded on my mobile - sound clip would be here, but for a broken phone before transferring it).

Gomez also sparked the arrival of the "magical Jim dancing hat" - you had to be there.

Then Beck, playing an energetic set with most songs coming from the last two albums plus Looser. Again the band disappeared off stage leaving only the DJ who mixes records together seamlessly whilst throwing them behind his back and catching them in his hand. He then finished off by playing "Smoke on the water" by jumping the needle on the record, then smashing the record with the needle. How could Beck top that? Easy, bring the band back on stage wearing a combination of cricket pads, intravenous drips, and then wrapping the entire stage and some of his band in Restricted Area tape. The only problem with this was that by the time it was all cleared up it had delayed Pulp.

9:30pm - Time to get to the front for Pulp who would follow in 15min. Well to the front for Katy, Danni and I. The other preferring the safety of being a bit further back

9:38pm - The rain returns almost Placebo style, so much so that Katy goes back to the tent, I get soaked to the skin despite the waterproofs

9:45pm - To the opening strains of Common People, on walked Jarvis and co. After opening with the most famous song you could sense that this was going to be a great performance. Jarvis then asked us if we liked his jumper, before saying he was with us and poured a bottle of water of himself. They showcased some of the new songs which sounded just as good as the old ones. With a set that included no "Disco 2000", no "Misshaped" but did include Sorted, "F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E", "Something Changed", "Party Hard", "This Is Hardcore", "The Fear" and an encore of "Do You Remember the First Time". Apparently they also played "Babies" at Reading but because of Beck antics they could not fit it in.

By the end we had all become separated due to the crowd movement. With all the rain that had fallen in the past 90 mins the ground was now in a worse state than by the end of Saturday taking me nearly 50min top return to the tent.

The Delgardos 12:40 - 13:15 (m)
Gorky's Zygotic Mynci 13:30 - 14:10 (m)
Terris 15:40 - 15:25 (e)
Dark Star 15:40 - 16:20 (e)
Super Furry Animals 17:35 18:25 (m)
Gomez 18:45 - 19:35 (m)
Beck 20:00 - 21:15 (m)
Pulp 21:45 - 23:00 (m)

The rain had stopped by the time we got up on Monday (8:30ish) but it had rained for most of the night. Again I had the task of trying to make my trainers dry and wearable. The same could not be said for my jeans, it was time to use the second pair which meant no clean pair to travel home in.

Today we HAD to get in early as we wanted to get to the front for the BIG band of the day: Ooberman. Well they were the Band that Katy and I wanted to watch, Rob was there to be convinced that he could like a JimBand™ and Rich there just to look at Sophie...

We were joined by other Ooberfans including some who had cut up their bed foam to make an Ooberbanner with many spelling mistakes on it. They were great, the songs were great playing "Why Did My Igloo Collapse", "Bluebells", "Shorly Wall" (disappointingly without the spoken bit at the end), "Bees", "Sur La Plage", "Danny Boy", "Tears For a Willow", "Million Suns", "Blossoms Falling" and finishing with "Sugar Bum"

Rich liked Sophie, and Rob was convinced he could like a JimBand™

Then off to the merchandise stall to buy my Ooberman/ZX Spectrum T-shirt

Next up Elbow in the Carling Premier Tent based on the fact that I'd liked the song "New Born" which had been a Mark & Lard Record Of The Week, and I'd been telling them that it had one of the best opening lines to a song ever - "I'll be the corpse in your bathtub, useless". They did play a version of "New Born" but not the radio version, this one went on for about 10 minutes. Now everybody�s convinced they can like a JimBand™.

So back down to the main stage for Doves. At the end of Doves, nobody was convinced they could like a JimBand™. I liked them, I thought they were good. Danni fell asleep, Rich and Rob covered my waterproof in woodchip, Pete & Sarah tried tried to cover my feet and legs in woodchip and Katy and Sam went to the NME signing tent to see Ooberman.

Following Doves on the Main Stage were ADF then Limp Bizkit so we decided it was time to move on, I was a choice of I am Kloot or Brassy. Brassy won, despite having a poorer name. Brassy were a half decent band with a lead singer that must have been on acid, as he danced like a cross between Michael Stipe and somebody on a pogo-stick.

After Brassy, Rich, Rob and I decided to get some food and go back to the tent where someone had moved all our empty beer cans. We also saw the ritual destruction of a coat.

Back to the Evening Session tent at 17:20 to watch Soulwax. Playing most of the album plus the C-A-S-I-O song. Wearing pink suits and robo-dancing with microphone stands that lit up.

Everybody (bar me) then wanted to ho and watch the Foo Fighters. I wanted to stay and watch Grandaddy. With 20 mins to spare before Grandaddy came on I decided to go over with the others to watch the end of The Bluetones and saw them play If, Autophilia and then a cover of Berlins Take My Breath Away in which Mark Morriss was carried of stage by a white suited airman.

Back to Grandaddy, where the tent was fuller than I had expected, the band cam on stage with all bar one of them drinking from bottles of Stella, the lead singer was however drinking from a bottle of Jack Denials. They played a few songs of The Sophtware Slump including The Crystal Lake but the highlight for me was AM180.

Then to try and find all the others. We were supposed to get back together outside the beer tent next to the main stage. When I got there the Foos were still playing and continued to do so even after the power was pulled from them mid song. Danni was the first back, then Rich turned up followed by Rob. Rich saying me had won the game he and Rob had derived to do with people crowd surfing. Rob claiming he would have won but after he had been kicked in the head and his glasses broken he could not see what he was feeling. Whilst standing around were then saw a group of about 10 people start to mud wrestle with each other and a girl get carried away after been hit with a plastic bottle just above an eye.

With the light beginning to fade and 30 mins before Primal Scream we decided that Pete & Sarah were not going to show and that we should go and get some food.

And so it came to be that we watched Primal Scream from just outside a Curry Bus. Although our attention was not solely on the stage, as every so often we would have a good laugh at someone falling over in the mud including on person who split the entire contents of 4 pints, and another person who fell over 4 times.

Next up Oasis. The highlight of the Oasis set was the playing of the Delgardos and JJ72 videos on the big screens next to the stage followed by I am the Resurrection on the Stone Roses before Oasis came on. They started of by playing to songs off the last album (so I've no idea what they were) before playing the likes of Shakermaker, Supersonic, Rock and Roll Star. While they were playing we went and bought a cup of tea. Rock and Roll!

After about 30mins we decided to go and watch a bit of Muse. We stayed and watched a couple of songs including Sunburn before going to talk to Andy (Robs brother) who was working in the big beer tent. Then we walked back to the tent early enough not to get caught up in the rush through the mud like on the previous nights.

Back at the tent we could still hear Oasis finishing off their set with Champagne Supernova. Most of the other tents around us had fires going. So we decided to start one, but all be had was 1/2 a packet of Pringles, an empty can of Stella some whiskey and a soggy cardboard box and 3 matches. We did get it lit for about 5 minutes with the biggest burning items the Pringles and not the container.

Tuesday

The day to come home so it had to be the first day to stay dry since the Friday.

Time to pack the tents away. Rob Rich and I started last and had it fully packed away in under ten minutes. It took the girls about 25 minutes including 3 attempts at folding it up so it would fit into its carrier. Pete & Sarah (who can put tents up in the dark with one arm) however could not manage less than 45 minutes.

All that was left then was to queue up to catch one of the busses to the train station.

Roll on Next Year.